Man in the Kitchen with Wit and Ambition

"Jeff the Chef," from Make It Like a Man!

Maybe you figured Make It Like a Man would be about hunting deer, carving out steaks, and cooking them over a campfire. Or maybe you came looking for a way to convert your snow blower into a pasta machine. I mean, in theory, that thing ought to be able to spit out pasta and land it on a plate 20 yards away. And you should be able to convert it with just a screw driver or something. Amiright?

Sad fact is, I’m dangerous when I’ve got a screwdriver in my hand – especially when I also have a screwdriver in my other hand.

Make It Like a Man is about this: increasing numbers of men are taking on the role of home chef, but because food prep wasn’t part of their childhood, and because halftime conversation is more likely to turn to beer than croquembouche, they can find themselves at a disadvantage. I’m an early adopter of this shifting role, and have been the primary cook in my family right from the get-go. I’ve learned how to put dinner on the table after I come home from work, and still have time for American Ninja Warrior.

I like to find ways to use on-hand ingredients. I also cook from recipes and spend a lot of time searching for good ones. My interest in cooking stems from an even stronger interest in eating good food; dining out is part of my regular diet. Make It Like a Man stems from those three things.

Jeff the Chef: Chief Writer and Editor, not an actual chef – but can cuss like one

Entourage:

Randy the randy IT Consultant-to-the-Stars: IT, Contributor
Keith: Aesthetics Adviser/Art Production, currently on assignment in Rio, New York, Indianapolis, South Bend, New York again. Detroit: Rock City, – or, to be more precise, Romulus. Jolan tru, Keith. Viva Las Vegas, New Orleans
Kristin: Café Aficionado; the End-All, Be-All on Everything Cocktail; and now Jeff the Chef’s manager
Cookie: the Artist Adjunct
Mario: the Muscle, personal security
Miguel: event lighting
Andrew: taste tester
Chris: taste tester



CONTACT US: Make It Like a Man! (miLam) is produced in Chicago, by Cubs fans. To contact us, hang around on the Addison ‘L’ platform just as a game is getting out, and ask around for us. Wear a Sox cap, so we can easily pick you out in the crowd. As an alternative, please attach a comment to this page. We will not post comments that you attach to this page, but instead will respond to them via the email address that you attach to your comment. We’d love to hear from you, probably.

WORK WITH US: We love it when someone takes an interest in us. We’re very interested in working with people who are trying to promote their products. If what you’re making is delicious and what you’re doing is amazing and you seem so cool that we’d love to hang out with you just as friends even if this weren’t all about business, we’re open to helping promote you – but it’s got to be honest and organic. We’ve very good test subjects. If you want to have us taste your food, we’ll taste it, and well tell you what someone who gets off on craft beer, knows all the best places for brunch, can tell a real cronut from a fake one, and yet has a secret obsession for fast food cheeseburgers thinks about it. When it comes to testing kitchen appliances, or food services, we consider ourselves quite representative of the food-interested consumer demographic – except we have an uncanny ability to string coherent sentences together in print.

DISCLAIMER: Make It Like a Man! (miLam) is a delicious blend of entertainment, social commentary, and casual gastronomic information. As such, it makes no claim or guarantee with regard to the accuracy or validity of content, sources, information and links within its posts and pages. MiLam regularly uses images to link to off-site content. Clicking on those images will often link the reader to the site of origin; otherwise miLam will indicate the origin by way of a caption, hover pop-up, or explicit citations. Should the reader find an error in this regard, please inform miLam and miLam will make every ASAP effort at a correction. MiLam links to other websites it finds interesting, but it does not thoroughly research them, nor does it guarantee that you will find them interesting, valid, or accurate. Furthermore, it rarely monitors these links for changes that may occur post publication. The Internet is fast. Linked targets may change seconds after posting. MiLam has no idea what it’s talking about, even when it makes statements about foods that are good for you or bad for you; it wishes to stress this in no uncertain terms. In fact, in the back of miLam’s mind, it fears that everything it puts in its mouth carries some kind of risk, but in the end, miLam just throws up its hands and goes, “Fuck it.” MiLam encourages you to use its tags and keywords to execute internet searches and to consider miLam content in the context of what others have written on relevant subjects, both pro and con. Certainly do not take miLam’s advice at face value. Do not consider miLam an authority on any subject (although, it is very often spot-on when it comes to verb conjugation). MiLam recipes include serving sizes, but these sizes are NOT based on nutrition. They’re based on how much miLam likes to eat in a single sitting, like, if miLam went to a restaurant and ordered something, and when it arrived, it clearly wasn’t paltry, nor was it obscene, but instead it looked like a ample-yet-sensible portion. This is completely based on perception, but it is a perception at which miLam excels. Just don’t mistake it for nutrition, because, unless you somehow missed it, everything miLam knows about nutrition it learned from 30-second segments on the local news and the occasional infographics it stumbles upon in Details magazine. MiLam bloggers are really good at irony. They also love hyperbole so much that it consumes them. MiLam bloggers continually argue about the merits of negative capability, but they feel that these arguments are unsolvable and therefore admit the use of this device in some of miLam’s posts. MiLam therefore expects you use to your rational mind in evaluating everything it presents and will not be held responsible for the consequences of using its advice, tips, techniques, and recommendations literally. That’s a kind of downer, we realize … but it’s true. You are responsible for yourself. On the bonus side, however, miLam especially hopes you’ll appreciate its use of assonance and ekphrasticism. Your takeaway is this: Information presented on miLam is not to be taken as fact nor absolute. The reader will not hold miLam libel for what miLam says or displays. MiLam hopes that you will find some of its content laughable and absurd. If you do not immediately recognize that half of what you read on miLam is utter bullshit, miLam suggests you stop reading its pages and try something like E-Online. MiLam’s content – including words as well as images – is the opinion of it’s bloggers. It is meant to be provocative at times, but is not meant to be offensive. It is not intended to malign any club, company, gender, ethnic group, individual, lifestyle, nationality, person who eats more than they really should, religion, sexual orientation, animal, food allergy, mythical creature, anything, anyone, even Sarah Palin, anywhere, at any time, on this or any other plane of existence, world without end. Amen. MiLam is fond of pointing out inconsistencies and pretentiousness in social, cultural and political behavior and points of view. It often revels in presenting these things in way that emphasizes their ridiculousness. MiLam’s content does not represent any employer, volunteer group, membership organization, or church. The content represents only the personal views of its bloggers. MiLam is not responsible, nor will it be held liable, for anything anyone says on its blog comments, nor the laws which those who comment may break through their comments’ content, implication, and intent. MiLam is not responsible for defamatory statements bound to government, religious, or other laws from the reader’s country of origin. MiLam is well-written in a devil-may-care, laissez-faire, buyer beware, style of American English that brings to bear a bit of flair, but miLam does not dare translate its publications – not because it doesn’t love other languages … it does! It’s just that miLam really sucks at translation. Therefore, miLam cannot be held responsible for the way in which its content may be translated or interpreted by others. Although miLam’s bloggers and editors and extraordinarily gifted, stunningly goodlooking, and appear to be perfect, they are, in fact, not perfect. MiLam holds itself and its bloggers from prosecution for bad grammar and punctuation. MiLam is not paid for blogging content. Note that a copyright notice appears at the foot of every post.  MiLam restricts any financial claim that could be taken against it and its bloggers to a sum of nothing, zero, nada.

OFFICIAL GIVEAWAY RULES

NO PURCHASE OR PAYMENT OF ANY KIND IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN GIVEAWAYS. A PURCHASE WON’T IMPROVE AN INDIVIDUAL’S CHANCE OF WINNING.

  1. Eligibility. Giveaways are open to readers with US shipping addresses only, unless otherwise stated.
  2. How to Enter. Entry is typically made by leaving a comment on the giveaway post. A limit of one entry is allowed per e-mail address. You may not enter more than once, whether or not you use a different e-mail address. Subsequent entries determined to be submitted with the same email address or from the same individual using multiple email addresses may be declared ineligible. You may, however, obtain additional entries on a particular giveaway through other channels when applicable and prompted (i.e., by performing an action such as posting to Facebook, mentioning on Twitter, or blogging about the giveaway).
  3. Disclaimer. Make It Like a Man! will not be responsible for: (a) any late or lost entries; (b) telephone, electronic, hardware, software, network, Internet, or other computer or communications-related malfunctions or failures; any giveaway disruptions, injuries, losses or damages caused by events beyond the control of Make It Like a Man! or by unauthorized human intervention; or (c) any printing or typographical errors in any materials associated with the giveaway.
  4. Entry Deadline Date. All entries for giveaways through this site must be received on or before the given “Entry Deadline Date” to be eligible to win a prize.
  5. Winner Selection. A prize number will be assigned to your entry upon receipt of your entry. A winning number will be generated using Random.org on or shortly after the Entry Deadline Date. If your Prize Number matches the Winning Number, and you meet the eligibility requirements and otherwise comply with these Official Giveaway Rules, you win the prize.
  6. Winner Notification. You will be notified within three (3) days after the Entry Deadline Date if you win the prize.
  7. Claiming Your Prize. Winner must respond within three (3) days of notification or forfeit the prize, in which case an alternate winner will be selected.
  8. Taxes. ALL FEDERAL, STATE AND LOCAL TAXES ASSOCIATED WITH THE RECEIPT OF ANY PRIZE ARE THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE WINNER.
  9. Prize Substitution. Winner may not substitute the prize for any other prize or for cash, however, Make It Like a Man! or the sponsoring company may substitute the prize for any other prize of equal or greater value, in its reasonable discretion, in the event the prize is not available for any reason outside of sponsor’s reasonable control.
  10. Publicity. Acceptance of prize constitutes permission to use winner’s name and prize information for promotional purposes in any medium, except where prohibited by law, without further payment or other consideration.
  11. Errors and Disputes. In the event of a dispute as to the ownership of any entry, the person whose name appears on the entry form associated with the prize number for the winning entry will be deemed to be the winner. It is your responsibility to control access to your email account. In the unlikely event that the winning prize number is duplicated, or a similar error occurs, Make It Like a Man! may conduct a random drawing among such inadvertently duplicated numbers or apply another equitable remedy in its discretion to determine the winner. Decisions made by Make It Like a Man! are final. By entering the giveaway, you agree to be bound by the decisions of Make It Like a Man! and these official rules. You and your entries may be disqualified if you attempt to circumvent these official rules.
  12. Technical Problems. The giveaway may be canceled, suspended and/or modified, in whole or in part, if in the opinion of Make It Like a Man! any fraud, technical failure or other factor beyond its control impairs the integrity of the giveaway.
  13. General Release. By entering the giveaway through this website, you release Make It Like a Man! from any liability whatsoever, and waive any and all causes of action, related to any claims, costs, injuries, losses or damages of any kind arising out of or in connection with the giveaway or delivery, misdelivery or acceptance of any prize (including, without limitation, claims, costs, injuries, losses and damages related to personal injuries, death, damage to or destruction of property, rights of publicity or privacy, defamation or portrayal in a false light, whether intentional or unintentional), whether under a theory of contract, tort (including negligence), warranty or other theory.

ACCOLADES: We think we may have been featured on Tattoo Donkey, but we’re not sure. If someone out there tattooed one of our Valentine pics onto themselves, we would love to hear about it! Seriously, we will bake you a personalized Doughnut Cake and hire a stripper to deliver it. We can neither confirm nor deny that our Dates with Goat Cheese were featured on Xhorni, but just the thought of it kind of makes us feel desperate to rethink that title. That is not what we mean by “dates.” On yet another porn site, one of our lovely pictures of strawberries with a dusting of sugar found a home in a category they call “strawberries iz a rockstar.” We would have paid money to be in a category called that. However, we suggest that adopting the technical title we gave that image, “Eggs With Veggies, Avocado, Italian Sautéed Kale, and Strawberries” is decidedly not sexy. Especially when in the blog post itself, we captioned that image “Strawberries Awaiting Cream.” Come on, porn people … it’s low-hanging fruit.

 

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