Filter

…and there went out another horse that was plaid, with the power to grow hair on men’s faces – Urban Revelation 6:2

"Hipster Twirling His Mustache," from The Guardian, via Make It Like a Man! coffee and wi-fi in wicker park

Featured Image: The Guardian

The four horsemen of the gentrification apocalypse came to me in a dream … but I have a hard time remembering my dreams, so they tweeted this revelation to me the next day. I pass it on to you in the hope that you’ll like me on Facebook. This is the 2^nd of a multi-part post on Coffee and Free WIFI in Wicker Park. To read it from the beginning, click here. For a complete listing of the Wicker Park cafés and restaurants miLam has reviewed, click here. In this post: Filter (and not Starbucks).

Log On, Chicago. Edition XI/ii

♣

1373 N. Milwaukee

(5 / 5)

Pros

Their food is delicious, interesting, and hippie-inspired
So trendy, that the coolest people in Wicker Park are saying “yeah, whatever” about it
More seating than you can imagine
Geared for laptopping

Cons: none. I don’t really see a downside to Filter

Coffee: Good WIFI: Yes. I’ve heard people complain about it at times, but I think that’s the way hipsters express their appreciation. Can you work or study here? Yes. In fact, if you sit there too long without a laptop, I think one of the baristas might smack you along side the head and tell you to get back to it! Plugs: Yes. You can’t get more than a foot or so from one. Public Restroom: I’ve never actually used one, but I’m pretty sure they have them.

You can see Filter through the storefront, but you can’t figure out how to get in. That’s how cool it is. You have to make like you’re walking into the bike shop one door to the north (northwest). Walk down a hall into an interior foyer, and it’s coffee and food on the left, and a gargantuan seating room on your right. Not only does Filter have the most seating I’ve ever seen in something this side of an arena, the interior design is made up exclusively of an eclectic mix of 2nd-hand furniture, laid out in an interesting way. Everybody here – and I mean everybody – is working. Very good beardspotting. These are real Wicker Park hipsters (the stylized kind, I mean). Last time I was here, there was a guy in a French beret with a black-and-white, horizontal-striped shirt, laptopping away on his MacBook. I took that as a good sign, although I must divulge to you that I am not a hipster sympathizer. Granted, I have an impressive private collection of flannel that looks beat up, but is actually worth millions, and as lumberjacky a beard as any man ever grew.

"Ice Cream Sandwich iPhone Cover," from Drool'd, via Make It Like a Man! Coffee and Wi-Fi in Wicker Park

Don’t forget to bring your ironic iPhone cover.

However, I can’t breathe the hipster’s exclusionary air of disdain. A hipster wears his contempt like a messenger bag. I condescend from the heart. Wearing antipathy on my countenance would be like decorating a Christmas tree with smaller Christmas trees.

5/5/2014, 12:18 PM

Starbucks

1588 N Milwaukee Ave

[unrated]

At the very nucleus of post-Apocalyptic Wicker Park Hipsterdom (Milwaukee and Damen), there’s a Starbucks. Irony kills when it’s real, doesn’t it? I didn’t bother to step inside. I just couldn’t see any reason to. There were a couple proto-hipsters on the sidewalk nearby, selling jokes for 25¢. I decided to spend a few bucks there instead.

“Hate the hipster; love the beard.” – Revelation 6:3

“Ye shall not cover mustache or beard, nor eat prepackaged foods (lest they be Whole).” – Revelation 6:4