Graham Cracker Crust

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Graham Cracker Crust

Makes one 9-inch crust

1. Preheat oven to 350˚F. In a food processor, pulse cookies until finely ground.

• If you don’t have a food processor … wait, what?
• To do this by hand, put the crackers in a gallon-size Hefty OneZip and roll them with a rolling pin ~OR~ grind into them with a medium-to-large heavy pot, flipping the bag occasionally. You can also crush them with your fists or thumbs, especially your thumbs. Think of it as a low-tech smartphone game. Quite honestly, I don’t know why you don’t put the sugar and salt in there along with the crackers, and mix them as you crush. And when you’re done, why don’t you pour the melted butter into the bag, seal it, and then squish it all around the way you would a stress ball? Why don’t you?
• Flavored grahams, such as “honey” or “cinnamon?” Sure, so long as you feel it.

2. Add sugar, salt, and butter and pulse until combined.

• Or by hand, mix in sugar and salt thoroughly. Mix in butter thoroughly.
• Or, if you used the OneZip, you’re already done and you should be skipping ahead to Step 3.

Graham Cracker Crust

3. Dump the mixture into a 9″ pie pan. Lightly push crumb mixture around in pan, so that it’s up the sides at least half-way and the bottom is more-or-less even.

Now, take off your shirt and position your work space in front of a full-length mirror. (Wear a t-shirt if you’re shy.) Whip out another 9″ pie pan,^[1] place it atop your crust, place one of your palms flat into the top pan, and push down. Easy at first … you want to warm yourself up a bit. Then start to push harder, and then harder, and then harder until you’re pushing like hell.  Flex your triceps, support with your shoulder. Leverage your upper body weight. Come on, put some muscle into it. OK, now twist! That’s right. Twist your hand back and forth, back and forth. Now change arms – you don’t want to develop unevenly. Ready? And … twist and twist and push and push and … done. Yeah! Looking huge, man, looking huge.^[2]

By the time you’re done, you should have pushed the crust right up the sides of the pan, and some of it should’ve spilled out onto the counter.  Lift the top pan. Admire your perfect crust. And now check out your tri’s. Nice and pumped, huh? You go, man!

4. Bake until crust is dry and set, about 12 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack before filling.

Notes:

See Also:

One-of-a-Kind Pie Crusts

Chocolate Graham Crust!

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