Were you bested by last year’s ¾-inch scale gingerbread nativity with spun-sugar angels? Go completely off-script. Out-cookie your frienemies with Fruit Strudel Cookies and take back Christmas!

Fruit Strudel Cookies
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This year’s strategy:

1. RISK: Rumor is that my over-achieving niece is bringing Oatmeal-Raisin Sandwich Cookies this year, using a recipe that dates back to the Civil War. Ever since placing 2nd runner up Miss Asparagus, Preteen^[1] she’s become so hoity-toity. SOLUTION: Fruit Strudel Cookies have raisins, but they also have apples and apricots, so… And they have a lineage going back to the Middle Ages. (I’m also secretly going to replace the olive oil in her Christmas Salad with bacon fat … but that’s another post.)
2. RISK: Blue Christmas seems to be everywhere this year, but Fruit Strudel Cookies aren’t blue. SOLUTION: Did you know that the Blue No. 2 in Martha Stewart’s game-changing “Blue Christmas” glitter-ball cookies uses the same chemical as the colorant used to make blue jeans? So … if you get tired of that cookie, you want to chew on my Wranglers?

Make’m Like a Man!

Fruit Strudel Cookies get a good deal of their sweetness from fruit rather than sugar. They’re unusual, old-world … crunchy, chewy, a tiny bit sticky, so good. They’re grown-up cookies, and they take no prisoners.

Fruit Strudel Cookies
Makes 40 cookies, servings 20 people

This recipe makes two strudels, which are then sliced to create pinwheel cookies. Getting 20 slices out of each strudel requires a bit of skill. You might feel more comfortable aiming for 15 slices instead; the cookies will be thicker, of course, but still just as miraculous.

For the FILLING

A day before baking the cookies, prep the fruit. Mix the dried fruit with the and apples, and toss with ½-cup of the sugar. Add the vin santo; stir. Cover, and allow to macerate overnight in the fridge.

• If you don’t have vin santo, substitute madeira.

Strain the fruit over a small saucepan. Hand the drained fruit its nuts and give’m a good toss.

Make’m Like a Man!

For the PASTRY

Pulse^[2] the flour, the remaining ¾-cup sugar, and salt in a food processor. While it’s spinning, drizzle in the olive oil and continue processing to form coarse crumbs. Beat the eggs; pour them in as the processor is running, just until the whole things forms a dough. If necessary, add as much as ½-cup water, one Tbs at a time.

• My processor (a typical 7-cup capacity Cuisinart) won’t handle this much dough. I do it in three batches. 
• Use the water only if you have to, and only as much as you have to. Take a bit of dough in your hand and form it into a ball, and then press it into a disc. Break it in half. It shouldn’t crumble. If it does, it’s too dry. On the other hand, it shouldn’t be at all sticky. If it is, it’s too wet.

Divide the dough into two equal portions. Form each into a small flat block and wrap it in plastic.

Intermission

Let’s take a breather. You work yourself way too hard. While you unwind, think about this: Sarah Palin loves the commercialization of Christmas, but not its over-commercialization. I like this new baseline, because I dislike a facade. Whatever Christmas was, it’s now a business. Embrace that, and you’ll understand that it’s the customer who drives Christmas business. Business may own the car, the gas, the road, and even may have lied about whether or not there’s a McDonald’s at the next exit … but the driver’s seat is rightfully yours. Feel free to drive it in the direction of your choice.

Arrange two racks in the oven, and set the heat to 375˚F. Unwrap one block of dough, place it between two pieces of parchment, and roll it into a thin rectangular sheet, 12×15″.

• It might help at this point to refrigerate the rolled-out dough.
• If you have a problem with the dough sticking to the parchment, try this: As you roll it out, flip it on occasion and peel away the top parchment. Flour it a bit, replace the parchment, and continue to roll. When you’re ready to move on to the filling, flour the dough one last time: remove the top parchment, flour the dough, and replace the parchment … then flip the dough and proceed with the following directions.

Remove the top parchment, and spread the filling on the dough, leaving a 1-inch margin on all sides. With gentle firmness, pat the filling so it adheres to the dough.

Roll the dough up like a jelly roll, starting at one of the longer sides, into a cylinder about 15 inches long. Lift the bottom parchment to support the dough as you roll it; this will help tremendously.Congratulations, it’s a strudel.^[3]  Wrap it fully in the parchment paper (so it doesn’t stick to the table), and roll it back and forth a few times to make it more compact.^[4]

• If worse comes to worse and the roll falls apart, fret not. You can recover from this. Place the failed strudel in the fridge while you take your chances on the second one.
• If, after that, you now have two failed strudels, believe me, you have my condolences; this takes practice.
• When you’re ready for the fix, make ⅓-batch of dough. Roll it out to 6×15″ to fix one bad strudel ~OR~ divide it half, and then roll each half into 6×15″ to fix two strudels. Place a failed strudel on one end of a rolled-out dough, and roll it tightly toward the other end. Voila.

Fruit Strudel Cookies

Unwrap the strudel and trim off the ends with a serrated knife. Slice it crosswise every ½-inch or so, into disk-shaped spiral cookies. Lay the cookies flat on silpat-lined baking sheets. You can pack them in fairly tightly; they shouldn’t spread much if at all.

Bake for about 30 minutes, rotating the pans half-way through. The cookie is done when the dough is golden brown and the filling is bubbling.

Meanwhile, boil the reserved fruit juices in a small saucepan, until syrupy and reduced to about ¼-cup. Remove the baking sheets from the oven onto wire racks, and while the cookies are still hot, brush the fruit syrup over them. Let the cookies cool completely. They will keep for a week or two if well wrapped or in a cookie tin. They freeze beautifully.

Modified from a recipe by Lidia Bastianich. Modified how? Well, first of all, I didn’t make mine in Assisi 🙂 Aside from that, I increased the yeild, increased the proportion of pastry to filling, and expanded on the instructions.

Notes:

See Also, if you’re not afraid of a little indigotine:

Glitter Ball Cookies

Blutifull

More Blue Cookies

Blue Snowflake Cookies

More Blue Snowflake Cookies

Christmas Cookie Blues

Wranglers