A Slawppy Sloppy Joe

Sloppy Joe is to Slawppy Joe, as average Joe is to _________.

Slawppy Joe from Make It Like a Man! sloppy joe
"Daniel Craig," from The Wrap, via Make It Like a Man! sloppy joe

Makes 8 generous Sloppy Joe Coleslaw Sandwiches.

Sloppy Joes are pretty informal and, let’s face it, simple. Top a Joe with crispy, crunchy, boldly flavored, colorful coleslaw, however, and the resultant “Slawppy” Joe is packed full of sophistication. It’s hot, it’s cold, it’s umami, it’s tangy, it’s fun to eat and very satisfying. But as dressed up as it is, it still manages to retain its casual side. It’s a lot like James Bond: elements of elegance juxtaposed on a rough-and-tumble foundation. It’s a Joe that’s knows how to disarm a nuclear weapon, with a charm that’s disarming to ladies. A Joe that looks good in a tux, but couldn’t care less.

You might be thinking, “Chef Jeff, I love the Slawppy Joe, but I’m afraid I may not be Daniel Craig enough to pull it off.” I know exactly where you’re coming from, my friend, and that’s why I brought some Cheez Whiz to this party. Adding just a bit of Whiz to your Slawppy Joe will knock it cleanly into the swagger zone. A little confidence wouldn’t hurt, but you don’t really need it when you’ve got Cheez Whiz. I once was at the operaan extremely formal hockey game … a $10k-per-plate political fundraiser, and saw a guy GQ’ing the whole Quantum of Solace swag: nice tux, untied bow tie, unbuttoned shirt, some astronaut’s wife for arm candy. And I wanted to think, oh my God, how contrived, what an ass … should I start scanning the box seats for a mysterious man with a poison dart and a bamboo straw? But in fact, all I could actually think was … that is fucking hot. Seriously, he was killing it. He pulled it off just because he had this look on his face that said, yeah, underneath these tux pants, I’ve got balls. And he meant it. Later that evening, I brushed past him in the bar so close that we bumped shoulders. And as I surreptitiously slipped the encrypted thumb drive into his pocket, I noticed the distinct aroma of Cheez Whiz.

One Joe per person would work with two sides, if at least one of those sides were substantial. If you’re going with no sides, two per person with a handful of chips would work well.

Ingredients

2 Tbs olive oil
1 medium white onion, finely chopped
1 medium green (or red, or yellow, or orange) bell pepper, finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
1½ lbs. ground chuck
1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste
1 Tbs plus 2 tsp chili powder
2 tsp cumin
¾ tsp salt
Pepper, freshly ground, to taste
2 Tbs ketchup
2 Tbs plus one tsp cider vinegar
2 Tbs plus one tsp Worcestershire sauce
14 oz. beef broth
1 Tbs packed dark brown sugar (optional)
1 Tbs cornstarch
1 sixteen-ounce package frozen corn (you could get by with 12 oz)
8 hamburger buns (sesame works well, and so does whole wheat)
Red Coleslaw
Cheez Whiz, optional

Directions

"Slawppy Joe with Cheese on Olive Bread," from Make It Like a Man! sloppy joe

Heat the oil in a large skillet, over medium-high heat. Add the onion, pepper, and garlic and sauté for 3 minutes. Add beef, and scramble until it’s no longer pink. Add the tomato paste and continue cooking for 2 minutes. Add spices, flavorings, and broth. Bring to a boil, and simmer for 12 minutes. Taste, and adjust seasonings if necessary. If you’d like it to be sweeter, add as much as 1 Tbs sugar.

Mix the cornstarch with 1 Tbs water, making sure there are no lumps. Stir it into the meat mixture and continue stirring and simmering until the mixture thickens.

Stir in corn. Simmer until corn is heated through.

Heap ¾ to 1 cup of filling onto the bun. Top with 1-2 Tbs of heated Whiz, if you like. Top that with ⅓ to ½ cup coleslaw. I like to fill the Joe generously, and I expect some of the filling to spill out of the Joe. You can eyeball the amount and do what looks and tastes right to you.

Notes:

[1] Cheez Whiz: Yes, I added Cheez Whiz, because, yes, I still haven’t used up that jar the last time I was in the Joe-making mood. And yes, it was delicious. You could use a slice of room-temperature cheddar.
[2] Olive Bread: It is delicious on olive bread! But it is also delicious on a hamburger bun.
[3] Leftover Slaw: You’re going to have leftover slaw. If you don’t want to eat it on its own, you might want to halve the slaw recipe.
[4] Prep in Advance: This Sloppy Joes recipe produces Joe-meat that’s even better leftover – hands down. Storing it in the fridge and reheating it should be mandatory. If you’re serving Joes to friends, prepping them in advance also offers logistical advantages. You don’t have to worry about timing, and you can enjoy your friends with minimal distractions. They’ll think you worked your ass off all day (which is technically true, just not all day today).

See Also:

Philly Joes, from Make It Like a Man!

Philly Joes

"Horseradish Roast Beef Sloppy Joe," from Foodbeast, via Make It Like a Man! Sloppy Joe

HorseRo Beef Joe

"The James Bond Diet," from The Guy Can Cook, via Make It Like a Man! sloppy joe

The James Bond Diet

“Slawppy” Joes: Sloppy Joes Recipe with Ground Beef and Coleslaw

Chocolate Truffle Cookies
Eggs with Veggies, Avocado, Italian Sautéed Kale, and Strawberries

4 thoughts on “A Slawppy Sloppy Joe

    • I was skeptical about the slaw, too. And it was damned good, wasn’t it?

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